Few diseases impact parenting as much as mental health disorders do. I mean really sit back and consider this for a second or am I basis because depression is my struggle?
Parenting is such a tough job, even when you are fully sane, so when a disease hijacks your brain and you are no longer able to control your emotions, actions, and reactions that’s when shit can really hit the fan.
I consider myself a good parent. I have three babies, 12 year old Gabriel, 10 year old Elijah, and soon to be 7 year old Layla. My kids are respectful, responsible, and they get great grades, well not the little one but that’s another story!
Recently, while I have been in my aware state I noticed that I’ve neglected them. Not in an unsafe way, I feed them and parent them, however, in a traditional mommy kind of way. Since my depression has been more prominent I notice that I stopped doing the small creative things with them. (Crafts, playing games, decorating for holidays, making dinner together, and our themed parties for no reason at all! The everyday things that make us a happy united family. When I realized that depression was also affecting my parenting, I was devestated and yet hopeful. If I know my downfalls I can work on them, right?
I’m finding that blogging keeps me honest and motivated as I feel accountable. Documenting my feelings, succesess, and struggles allows me to reflect on past posts and have epiphanies. My sweet husband recently told me that he missed the old bubbly me, the one who use to drag him and the kids to festivals, carnivals, food truck gatherings, and good ole fashion family fun nights. Comments like those make me realize that I am missed, loved, and needed. I miss the old me too.
I’m ready to fight back! I am attempting to do an activity, a craft or fun meal everyday until Christmas. That’s a huge commitment on my behalf but I want to give my childern the most unselfish gift, the gift of creating memories even thu I don’t feel like it, but shhhh! Don’t tell them, I don’t want to spoil the magic of Christmas.
Anyone else failing as a parent because of your mental health? Am I alone? or am I the only one willing to admit it?
To kick off the holiday season I’m sharing two festive scrapbook layouts.
Thanks so much for stopping by to read my ramblings!